Monday, August 1, 2011

I have not always been a good mom, as hard as it is to admit, it is true.  I had 3 children under 4 by the time I was 21, and years of bad choices and struggling as a single mom made it really hard to enjoy being a mom.  I married in 2004, and my children adored my husband to be, and it seemed our lives were falling into place.  My husband and I struggled, arguments began to be on going in our home, our finacial situation seemed to generate more arguments, we were a mess. We carried on many years like this, on and off, everytime something was going right my husband would get laid off or something else would come along to mess it up.  In 2010, right after the birth of our fifth child we were seperating, it was over.  One day, the children were watching a movie, and a song came on, " Oh Lord, I want you to help me, help me on this journey, help me on my way. Oh Lord I want you to help me."  My husband and I were not talking, but he came to me and said " we need to go to church, I want you to find a church." I called a local church here, and spoke with a lady and made an appointment for the Pastor to visit our home. I don't know what happened that day in me, but I began to feel a need, a need that I have never felt before.  I prayed that day, something broke in me, I felt renewed, lighter, not so hard and bitter.  My husband was going through some changes as well, accepting Jesus was the best decision we have ever made. Things slowly began to come together, God was putting a broken family back together.  My husband and I still struggle from time to time, but we are together, we rely on each other and most of all our Lord Jesus Christ.  This is not the relaunch post I want to make, but this morning I had the feeling that I needed to share this.  Giving my life, my children , husband and all of our situations to God was the turning point in my life,  it is not an overnight fix, but it makes things alot easier, God will give you strength to make it through whatever it is that you are going through, and you can find comfort in knowing that you are His child and a father cares for His children.  I hope someone finds comfort in my words today, I don't share my story much and I don't even know why I felt I should share today, but I hope and pray if someone is going through some of the things I did, that you turn to Jesus, it will be the best decision you could make.  If you have any prayer request, feel free to leave them in the comments below, and know that my husband and I will be praying for you.

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